This article was originally published on RightLivin
This Doctor Couldn't Be Serious, Could She?!
This woman went to her gynecologist to get checked out after experiencing painful intercourse- something that isn't normal and shouldn't be taken lightly, especially by a professional. Her doctor couldn't find a sign of anything wrong her next move was to say this: "Just deal with it and let him get it over with quickly". Yup, seriously. The doctor suggested that her patient suffer painful intercourse so that her partner can still get his kicks, even at her expense.
Luckily, she stopped seeing this doctor. After seeing a new gyno who took her seriously, she was diagnosed with vaginismus and is doing much better. Ladies, this is a lesson to trust yourself and seek out a second opinion if you're not being listened to.
This Doctor Needs To Stay In His Lane
If you're a doctor dealing with sexual health, it's probably best to keep your personal judgments to yourself and just work at keeping your patients healthy. This doctor seemed to forget that when assisting this poor girl- he said to her: "You're 14, sexually active, and using no protection- can you imagine the shame your parents would feel? Is this something you're proud of?" Ouch! Are we talking to a doctor or a bully?
Sure, any doctor might've advised a patient in this situation to be more proactive about using protection- but the way he went about it was just so uncool. We hope she found a doctor who was less judgemental!
Leave The Fashion Advice To Someone Else
Yet another doctor who needs to keep her personal opinions to herself. This patient says her doc told her she was too tan and had too many piercings- and apparently, she made some assumptions about her lifestyle based on those factors. When the patient clarified that she was monogamous and her tests came back clean, the doctor asked "then why are you here?" Uhh, for a yearly pap? Get with the times!
A gynecologist, of all people, should know how important it is to get a yearly exam- not everyone is at the doctor's office because of promiscuity, and if they are at least they're being proactive about it! Luckily, this girl found a new doctor.
This Gynecologist Really Doesn't Understand the Female Body At All
Most people can understand that there's a difference between a cold speculum entering your body forcefully and engaging in sexual activity with a consenting partner, right? Most people- except for maybe this doctor. Her patient writes: "I was uncomfortable with a procedure and my (former) gynecologist asked how I could ever let a guy down there if I couldn't even handle what she was doing." How is that even remotely the same? (Hint, it's not).
Without going into too much detail, most people can understand that different bodily functions make those, ahem, intimate moments, a bit easier. The fact that this doctor didn't seem to understand that is a bit concerning.
Fatphobic Doctors Are Sadly Nothing New
It's pretty commonly known by now that plus-sized people don't have it super easy when going to the doctor- oftentimes they're judged or have their health problems ignored and chalked up to a need to lose weight. Luckily, this girl didn't have that happen, but she did have a particularly rude doctor make it clear she was put off by her size. "I had a gyno tell me she was surprised I was sexually active- I asked about birth control. She looked me up and down and said 'REALLY?! Huh, well okay..."
This doctor needs a swift reminder that people of all sizes can be beautiful and desirable. We hope this was just a blip, because making your patients feel insecure and uncomfortable isn't cool.
That's Just A Flat-Out Lie
Like many, this next patient went to her gynecologist seeking information about birth control- specifically the IUD. When she mentioned this, her doctor shared a strange look and told her it's only for women in monogamous relationships- not true! Anyone can use an IUD. Was this gynecologist just unprofessionally trying to shame her patient for having multiple partners, or worse- did she actually not know that the IUD is for everyone?
We can't really decide what's worse. Seriously, the fact that a medical professional would push their personal biases on their patients at the risk of their wellbeing just isn't right- you have to wonder why she's even in this field.
What An Awkward Thing To Say
We have to say- we don't think this doctor meant much harm, but she should probably stick to medicine and not comedy. Her patient shared: "my gynecologist was once talking to me about sexual health and joked that even though she respects her own daughter's choices, she sometimes wished she could sew her daughter's junk shut". While she was joking, it clearly made her patient super uncomfortable- ideally, we want to feel like our gynecologist has a positive attitude about intercourse, right?
Again, just an awkward joke that landed really poorly and definitely didn't need to be said to a patient when discussing sexual health. Read the room, doc!
Red Flag
People take birth control for a multitude of reasons, and when this then-14-year-old joined the bandwagon of people who use it to control their acne, she did the smart thing: she asked her doctor how it works and when it'll begin working. Sounds like a fair question, and we have to say, for a 14-year-old, extremely wise to ask. Regardless of why the girl was going on the pill, the doctor should be able to answer any questions, but she wouldn't.
Instead, the doctor told her young patient that those questions don't need answers as long as she was "being safe". One question for this shady doctor: Would you take a medication you didn't understand?!
A Misogynist Gynecologist!?
People have mixed views on male gynecologists- for us, it's neither here nor there. What we do have an issue with is gynecologists with outdated views like what this girl dealt with. When seeing her older, male doctor, he asked what her major was. After learning about the ambitious girl's goals, his response was: "well that won't really matter. Just find a wealthy man and have babies and you'll be set." We hope this was another bad joke!
There's nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom- but this girl had other plans and her doctor's response revealed where he really thinks women belong. Whether he was serious or not, it's not a great joke to make for someone working so closely with women.
Let's Not Shame Our Patients
You'd think that these gynos have seen it all enough to be unphased and judgment-free, but that's just not the case. Yet another woman shared a moment her gynecologist made her feel ashamed of her sexual activity. Each of the three years this woman saw this doctor, she answered that yes, she had been sexually active. Because the first two visits involved different partners, by the third visit the doctor sarcastically asked "and howwww many partners do you have right now?!"
While it's normal to ask how many partners a patient is having, there's no need to get condescending or judgemental. We'll add this snarky doctor to our list of those who need to work on their bedside manner.
Why So Stingy With The IUD's
This gyno was seriously out of line. First of all, what's with denying people their birth control? It's strange in any case, but this one was especially weird. This patient came to the office wanting an IUD- she was married, but not ready for kids. Her husband was deployed at the time and she wanted to get the IUD and adjustment period out of the way before he came home. We don't think she's asking for much here, is she?
However, her gyno denied her the IUD so she "wouldn't be tempted to try it out too early"- essentially accusing the patient of cheating on her husband. We don't know what's going on that gave this gyno such trust issues, but just give the lady her IUD!
The First Option Isn't Always Best
Religious schools are great, but they don't have the best history when it comes to sexual education or healthcare. So when this poor person sought care from her Catholic college's health center, you can only assume she didn't get very far. She was having some pain and spotting and was told it was probably due to an STD. Understandably, she was horrified. Luckily, she went to a more reputable clinic after.
There she learned that all along she was just dealing with a UTI- not an STD. What a relief, but what a shame she had to go through that moment of fear because of her school's poor resources.
This Nurse Has No Filter
Yet another woman getting bad healthcare because of her size. When this woman was discussing contraceptives with her nurse practitioner, she mentioned that she had gained a ton of weight since starting her birth control. Instead of practicing some empathy and discussing possible reasons and solutions with the patient, the NP looked her dead in the face and said "birth control has nothing to do with it. You're just fat." Ouch!
Not only is this straight-up rude, but it's also dangerous and sadly common for health care practitioners to ignore possible health issues unrelated to weight just because of someone's size and their preconceived notions about fat people. We hope this girl quickly found someone else to take care of her.
This Doctor Met Her Match
We've all done it: Google. Understandably, it must be annoying for doctors to constantly be faced with people who think they know it all after a quick google search- but that wasn't this instance. After being diagnosed with cervical dysplasia, this patient asked her gyno to be taken off hormonal birth control, as it interferes with the treatment. Her doctor didn't seem to like that insight and shot back: "where did you get that, the internet? You can't believe everything you read online."
But as it turns out, the patient's knowledge came from a very reputable source: a doctor at the head of the National Institute Of Health, who specialized in that particular issue. She quickly shot that doctor right back down.
Wrong Hole
We've all been there- have we? No? Maybe? Many of us have been there. But we don't expect it to happen with a medical professional! This person went to their normal place for a yearly pelvic exam, but got a whole lot more. This time, it was a different doctor who apparently believed in throwing rectal exams in the mix. In the name of health, sure, we can go along with that.
The only problem is, this doctor didn't bother giving any warning or explanation before heading into the danger zone. Yikes! You can only imagine the poor patient didn't have a great reaction to that. General rule of thumb: when going near anyone's genitals, 1. ask permission 2. give a warning!
Just Mind Your Business!
When did the lines between healthcare and personal beliefs get so blurred?! This doctor is another bold one on our long list of people who need to mind their business. When his 18-year-old patient inquired about getting busy for the first time and sought professional advice to stay safe and painless, her doctor decided it was his place to say she was too young and that doing the deed was bad. Is it though, doctor?! Is it?!
Instead of giving legitimate, helpful advice to his patient, he left her feeling ashamed and angry. When it's your job to keep people healthy, you have a responsibility to share health-related information with them- do better!
Is This Legal?
You may have heard about fake clinics before- these places masquerade as health clinics but they usually do more harm than good. This poor girl like many others ended up at one after having intercourse for the first time. She got bacterial vaginosis (a common issue that just requires medication), and went to one of these "clinics" for an STD test. We know these clinics exist to handle unexpected pregnancies, but we didn't expect them to do this:
They told this poor girl that she had herpes, which she didn't! Then told her she can never be intimate because of it, and showed her termination photos. The girl luckily left and never looked back-we hope she was able to get some real healthcare.
Some People Just Shouldn't Be Doctors
Some people become doctors because they want to help, and others- we're not so sure. Sadly, it seems that some of these people don't really care about their patients at all. This next woman had a history of painful intercourse and explained this to her doctor before her gyno appointment, but was brushed off. When the doctor inserted the speculum and the patient cried out, the doctor told her to grow up, and that it'll be over in a few minutes.
Sadly, this woman was so traumatized by the incident that she didn't see a gynecologist again for 7 years- imagine if something were wrong and she couldn't catch it because of this doctor's cold bedside manner!
Big Mistake- Huge
Everybody makes mistakes, but when it comes to someone else's health there's really no excuse to not be on top of your game and we have to say this doctor really messed up. When it comes to STD tests, usually no news is good news, and that's exactly what this doctor told her patient. So after hearing nothing and assuming she was free and clear, she resumed intimacy without protection only for her boyfriend to end up with chlamydia. How?!
She called her doctor who casually says "oops, I forgot to call you about your test results! They've been sitting on my desk for three weeks!" Seriously, doc?! The patient went three extra weeks without treatment and infected their partner because of your "oops!"
Watch What You Say
This doctor was trying to be friendly but actually made her patient super uncomfortable and broke the law. When the patient said she'd never been pregnant the doctor responded "good." That was strike one for the patient- why good? What would the doctor say if she had been pregnant?! Second- the doctor began asking the patient how her sister was doing though she never mentioned her. When the patient asked how she knows her sister the doctor said "oh, she goes here, too. We delivered her baby".
It may not seem like a huge deal, but it is a violation of HIPPA- which protects patients' privacy. People do give birth without telling anyone- and those loose lips could do some serious damage.
Another Speculum Spat
Doctors have to know these speculums don't exactly feel good, right?! Have a little compassion! When this doctor was asked nicely to be a little more gentle down there, she snapped: "Well it doesn't hurt me so it shouldn't hurt you." Well, we're sure it's not hurting you because you don't have the metal clamp inside of you, right? People have different pain thresholds and when someone asks you nicely to be a bit gentler, it shouldn't be so difficult to oblige.
We don't know how this patient responded but is wrong if some small part of us hopes it was with an accidental kick in the face? "Oops, oh well, it didn't hurt me!"
Is It That Hard To Make A Phone Call?
Another doctor, another forgotten phone call. This patient got a pap and again was told no news is good news. Fast forward a few months later, a previous partner furiously proclaimed she had given them genital warts. Come to find out, the patient's original gyno no longer worked at that office and never had anyone call about the patient's irregular pap smear. Talk about irresponsible- no wonder that doctor got the boot!
This office's lack of responsibility put their patient's health at risk- she was left having to do full cancer biopsies that should've been done months prior- if she had something, they may not have caught it in time!
Just The Socks
Most of us like to meet someone for the first time with our clothes on, right? We know it's our gyno's job but ideally, we can have a face-to-face conversation before a face-to... well you get it. So when this patient requested to meet her new doctor for the first time fully clothed, she was surprisingly met with tons of attitude by the nurse. She rolled her eyes and said, "you'd have a sheet on..."
Understandably, maybe the busy doctor truly didn't have time to go to the room twice- but the nurse could've explained that or tried to accommodate the patient, especially when the visit is related to such a personal area. But nope- here's a sheet, now strip down to your socks!
Why'd You Have To Say That?
Gynecologists should know better than anyone that all vaginas are different- and that people experience tons of shame and self-doubt surrounding what they think it should look like. So when this gynecologist told her patient she had a shallow vagina, the poor girl understandably spent years feeling self-conscious about it. It wasn't until she mentioned it to another doctor years later that her fears were calmed once she was told everything was perfectly fine and normal down there.
It's strange to us that these doctors are so quick to comment on physical things that have nothing to do with a patient's actual health- luckily the problem was eventually resolved.
Spoke A Little Too Soon
This patient was in for a major scare when her doctor spoke up too soon. During an exam, the patient was explaining how she had suddenly been having issues with her birth control- as she was speaking with the doctor's hand inside of her, the doctor announced: "I think you're pregnant honey!" Understandably, the patient began to panic. As the doctor wiggled her fingers around a little more, she realized she misspoke and the patient wasn't actually pregnant.
For someone who doesn't plan on having kids, this was probably the scare of a lifetime. We can understand that maybe the doctor was shocked and didn't think before reacting, but this was really not cool.
Don't Be Silly, Wrap Your... Hands
A gynecologist should know the importance of wearing protection better than anyone, so when this creepy doctor didn't put gloves on, he left his young patient confused. It was her first gyno visit and she wasn't sure if it was normal or not- we're here to tell you it's not. As you can imagine, the patient said it was a bit traumatizing and we can totally understand how that would be violating.
If you're inserting your hands (or anything else) into someone else's body, you definitely need to be wearing gloves. You shouldn't have to remind a doctor of this, but by now are we that surprised?
Professionally Speaking, Told Ya So!
It's pretty important that our gynecologists respect our choices- they should of course give professional advice, but to make your patients feel judged in such a vulnerable setting is just not okay. This doctor got angry at her patient for using only the pill while in a relationship, and shot out "Well if you come back pregnant I'm going to tell you I told you so." Could you not have just explained the risk the patient is taking in a professional manner?
It's hard to imagine this patient returned to such a snappy doctor. While it is their job to inform us about our choices, it wasn't her place to make such a rude statement.
Congrats!
We're not sure if this is something to congratulate someone for, but okay. This patient went to their gynecologist who congratulated her for still being a virgin. What an awkward compliment! While there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, there's nothing wrong with not being a virgin, either. A professional gynecologist should know better than to place a high value on such silly things if you ask us. What would they have said if she wasn't a virgin?
Again, it's hard to imagine that someone we're trusting to take care of our most personal body part is casting judgments on what we choose to do with our bodies. We don't think we'd visit that doctor again.
Male Gynos... Just Don't
Look, we've got nothing against male gynecologists, but we do think this one was way off. While getting a procedure done, this doctor told his patient she'll just feel a pinch- when she screamed out as her cervix was cut, he said "why are you crying? There are no nerve endings in the cervix. I know you aren't actually feeling pain." Sir, get a cervix, have a chunk ripped from it, and report back to us about how it feels.
To be so rude to a patient as she's crying from pain is just mean- what reason would she have had to lie about the pain she was feeling? Do better!
Come On, Just Give Her the Morphine
It's a pretty well-known fact that childbirth is one of the most painful things a person can experience- so when this new mom was denied pain medication, she was pretty peeved off. All her OBGYN would allow her was two regular strength Tylenol every other hour. To top it off, her baby was in the NICU, so with no pain medicine, she would have to muster up the strength to get herself down the hall to see him with no help.
We're not sure why the doctor would deny this recovering mom medicine when she was in so much pain- especially because only months earlier, at the same hospital, her husband was given morphine for kidney stones with no questions asked.
Imagine Living With A Disease You Don't Have
This poor, poor woman. At 19, she went to a gyno because she noticed some bumps down there. She had only been with one man and using protection- the gyno took one glance and said sarcastically "Congratulations, you have herpes." She proceeded to accuse her patient of lying about using protection and said she won't help until she tells the truth. Obviously, her patient was humiliated and blindsided that she was now living with this stigmatized disease.
Fast forward four years- the woman goes to a new gynecologist as she and her now-husband are ready to start a family. Guess what? No herpes! The whole time, she was just having an allergic reaction to her soap!
Even Doctors Make Mistakes
Being able to admit when you're wrong is a strength many people, even doctors, struggle with- but it's important to listen to your patients. When this gyno put an IUD in her patient's body, she began throwing up from the pain and told the doctor it was inserted wrong. The doctor accused her of exaggerating the pain so she could be prescribed meds and said "I'm not giving you narcotics if that's what you're trying to do." Woah.
Not only is that a huge accusation to imply that your patient has a drug problem, but the doctor was just straight-up wrong. After weeks of excruciating pain, the poor girl had to get the IUD removed as it was caught in her cervix.
Keep Those Opinions To Yourself
Being pregnant is tough. Not only is your body struggling to grow another human inside of it, but the mental toll is just as heavy. Nobody in the position really needs to hear anything negative- but this midwife didn't seem to think about that. Upon seeing her patient's body she said "look how awful your stretch marks are! Aren't you doing anything about them?" Ouch! She really should have known better.
Being pregnant is hard enough- and although stretch marks are totally normal and natural, nobody needs those pointed out when they're already coping with such major body changes.
This Doctor Is In The Wrong Field
If you're a gynecologist, a lot of your job revolves around fornication and the consequences of it. So when this 17-year-old patient came to her doctor looking to get on birth control for-you guessed it- doin' it, she was blown away by her doctor's response. This doctor, wrist deep in her patient, said "God would prefer it if you remained abstinent." Yikes! For starters, her opinion on what her patient should do in the bedroom is unwelcome.
More than that, to bring religion into the discussion was just wildly inappropriate. Seriously, why become a gynecologist if you can't bear the idea of a little pre-marital hanky panky?
You're Fired!
Luckily this patient realized right away that her gyno was in the wrong and simply left. When she came to the office just to get a birth control prescription, her doctor's first question was "are you married?" the patient began to explain that she was in a monogamous relationship, then remembered she didn't have any reason to explain herself- so she fired the doctor and got a new one. Go girl!
By now, it's not so shocking to see yet another doctor inserting their personal beliefs into their patient's business, but we're glad this patient saw the issue and quickly left.